


Something about being needed

by letsjustfckngo



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Awkward Romance, M/M, Romance, haechan is a little shit, taeil is a caring yet awkward person, they're not a match made in heaven but it works anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:15:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25674934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/letsjustfckngo/pseuds/letsjustfckngo
Summary: AU in which Haechan is Taeil's intern.——Haechan wasn’t the type of person that gave up. He might have given up on the internship before it had even started, but the things he cared about remained things that he cared about. It was what kept him dead set on getting Taeil to like him, without having to change a single thing about himself.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Moon Taeil
Comments: 8
Kudos: 36





	Something about being needed

“Hyuck, could you—”

“No.”

Taeil put his elbows on top of his desk, after which he buried his face into his palms, his fingers threading through the strands. If he didn’t know any better, he could have sworn his hair had become thinner over the course of the last month. As if his job wasn’t stressful enough as it was, he now had something much more difficult to deal with. It’d come to him in the form of an intern; a teenager who had never had to work a day in his life, who refused to make his life inside of the office anything but a waking nightmare.

“And why not?” Taeil asked, eyeing the other from the desk opposite his. His boss had said it was probably easier to keep this kid as close to him as he possibly could, so that he would always be around to help Taeil with his daily tasks. That had seemed like a good idea, at first, until Taeil began to realise that this  _ brat _ never —  _ literally never _ — shut his mouth for longer than a second.

“You called me Hyuck. You know I don’t listen to that name anymore.”

Taeil groaned, after which he squeezed his eyes shut for a few terribly long seconds. It was probably better that way, so that he didn’t have to see the smirk — drenched in fake innocence — that would undoubtedly be spread out all over his face now.

“Alright, then,” Taeil tried again, “ _ Haechan _ , would you—”

“No.”

Taeil couldn’t keep the frustrated groan to himself anymore, which was probably a terrible idea since he was simply giving  _ Haechan _ more ammunition that way. “So, why not now? What did I do  _ now _ that makes you feel so above what you’re meant to do here?”

“You didn’t say it like you mean it. It sounds like you’re mocking me.”

“That’s because…” Taeil knew he couldn’t say these words out loud, well aware of all the possible repercussions. After all, Hyuck — or Haechan — was his boss’s son, and the last thing he would tolerate was for Taeil to verbally abuse his son inside of the office. However, sadly, he simply couldn’t hold it in anymore. He’d been pushed to his absolute limit. “That’s because it doesn’t suit you.  _ Haechan _ . Like ‘ _ Full Sun’ _ ? Excuse me, but you’re not exactly the personification of sunshine in my life right now.”

At that, Haechan fell quiet for a moment, after which he crossed his arms and glared in Taeil’s direction. “You can’t say that,” he retorted. “You know you can’t say that.”

Taeil threw his hands up in frustration, feeling a rush of anger coursing through him. This entire situation was giving him such a bad headache that he lifted himself up from his seat without even noticing it, before he quickly made his way over towards the door. Before he could leave, though, a final rush of anger had him turn around, glare at the boy who had his feet lazily upon his desk and — involuntarily so — raised his voice. “No, maybe you’re right.” His heart beat aggressively through his ribcage, as he felt himself getting closer and closer to an explosion. “Maybe you  _ are _ a full sun, because I can’t fucking  _ stand _ to look at you anymore. It makes me want to scratch my fu— my… my  _ eyes _ out!”

Bad. This was bad. He shouldn’t have said this. He shouldn’t have said this at all, but Haechan had managed to make his blood boil so hot that he simply hadn’t managed to keep it in anymore. He had to step out of the office before it would get any worse, and before he would truly do something unacceptable. If he hadn’t already, that was.

***

“Hyung?”

Haechan’s head was on the table, resting on top of his arms. His voices sounded muffled by the fabric of his jacket, but what made his words even more incomprehensible was the fact that his voice was completely slurred.

Most of his colleagues had left the bar some time ago, but for some reason Taeil had stayed around. One reason was the fact that he didn’t have a lot to do at home, seeing as he lived there completely by himself and strangely enough didn’t feel like being on his own, and the other, far less obvious reason was the fact that Haechan’s alcoholic limit had already been reached a couple of hours ago now. He found himself stuck with him for that reason, simply because he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if he simply left him there. He was young. Too young for Taeil to trust that he would find his way back home all by himself.

“Hm?” Taeil was sitting next to him, waiting for Haechan to find the strength to get up on his feet. He’d already brought him various glasses of water to speed up the process, but that hadn’t resulted in much. All he could do now, it seemed, was to attempt to have a conversation with him so he wouldn’t fall asleep right then and there.

“The other day…” Haechan started, turning his head so that his cheek was resting on his arm now. He looked at Taeil, though he was far too intoxicated for his eyes to truly focus on Taeil. “When you said all these things to me… Do you remember that?”

“Yeah,” Taeil spoke simply. He had been drinking, but the effect of the alcohol Taeil had consumed had long since worn off. “I do remember that, yeah. It's a bit hard to forget something when it results in an official warning.”  _ Not that you know what any of that means, of course _ , he silently added.

“Hm, I guess.”

“What about it?” He urged on. Haechan’s eyes had started to slip shut again, and Taeil had given himself the task to prevent that from happening.

“Hmm, well, it was…” Haechan moved his hand, a limp wrist rolling around in animated circles, as if in thought. His eyelids fluttered open again.

“It was what? Go on, will you?”

“Kinda sexy.”

Taeil rolled his eyes, crossed his arms and sat back in his chair as if to remove himself from the situation. His breath felt stuck somewhere in the back of his throat, and his heart beat a little faster now. He hated this about himself; how any type of positive attention — whether it be because of something he had done, the way he looked, or a combination of the two — made him feel… shy, or something. It didn’t make much sense to him, and he wished he could simply switch it off, but his body tingled regardless of what he wished for. His body didn’t discriminate; not even when it came down to  _ unwanted _ positive attention.

“Hyung?” Haechan finally managed to move his arm. Limply, it fell down in Taeil’s lap only a second later. Taeil’s breath hitched. “Did you hear what I said? I said sexy. It was  _ really _ sexy.”

Was there a reason ‘kinda sexy’ had turned into ‘really sexy’, or was that just the alcohol talking? Well,  _ of course _ it was just the alcohol talking; the entire thing was just the alcohol talking. He sighed again, shook his head and hoped to God that Haechan had gotten the hint that he needed to drop this now.

“Sexy! Hyung, I said  _ sexy _ ! Are you hearing it now?!” Haechan had raised his voice, causing Taeil to look around him at whoever else might have heard this. After that, he moved forward in his chair to nudge at the other to make him stop. However, Haechan still didn’t seem to realise that he  _ really _ needed to shut up. “SEXY! HYUNG!” Haechan laughed then. Stupidly, drunkenly; in a way that Taeil couldn’t stand.

“Haechan,  _ stop _ !” he hissed, his voice coming out in a whisper. He stood up in a panic and moved himself behind Haechan’s chair. For a lack of knowing what else to do, he wrapped his arms around Haechan’s back and started pulling him up. “I’m going to get us a taxi, okay? I’m not going to wait for you to be sober enough to walk.”

Haechan hummed, but let himself be helped up all the same. In fact, he also seized the opportunity to wrap his arms around Taeil’s shoulders and bury his face into Taeil’s neck. Annoyingly, he was taller than Taeil was, which made maneuvering them all the harder. “I thought you’d never ask, my Sexy Hyung.”

***

Taeil hadn’t expected that night to ever be spoken of again. Haechan didn’t seem like the type to get embarrassed, and Taeil was — actually — too embarrassed to hear these words coming from Haechan’s mouth again. He’d thought about them at home more than enough, which in itself had been wrong, and now he simply wanted to forget about them again. After all, these words — whether Haechan had meant them or not — did not matter. They were just another part of an annoying chain of memories and thoughts involving Haechan.  _ Ugh _ , Taeil wanted to just forget about all of it.

“Hyung?” The voice was familiar, and so was the word he’d muttered, but the tone of it wasn’t. Haechan sounded somewhat reserved, which wasn’t like him at all.

It caused Taeil to look up from the files he’d been writing on. He’d been entirely focused before, but now he felt something burning in the pit of his stomach. He frowned at himself, wanting to shake it off. This burning sensation wasn’t something he was supposed to feel at all. “Yeah?”

“Do you want anything?” Haechan was sitting at his desk, and Taeil could now vaguely recall that he had been typing in silence. Not much like Haechan either, now that he thought about it, but there wasn’t much time to dwell on that when the question he asked was anything but expected. “I’m going to go to the cafeteria. Coffee? Tea? What do you want?”

For a moment, Taeil simply stared at him. A small smile then nagged at the corner of his mouth, but he did everything he could to prevent that from escaping. Something like this shouldn’t cause him to smile; it’d make no sense. “That’s the first time you’re asking that…” he duly noted, voice annoyed. That was better, Taeil supposed. If he would just be annoyed, like he always was, then he didn’t have to think about the fact that he’d started feeling something different.

Haechan shrugged, laughed awkwardly and then took a deep breath. “Yeah, well…” He breathed out, voice somewhat shaky now. “I thought I’d be nice to you, considering you helped me the other night, and all.”

That actually made something shoot through him — nerves, probably — and he forced himself to look back at his computer screen. He caught himself hoping that none of the words Haechan had said before would leave his mouth again, and then he tried his very best to  _ not _ to hope for something like that as the whole thing shouldn’t matter in the slightest. This inner conversation should surprise him, but at this point it was frankly the only type of inner conversation he was still capable of having.

“You don’t think I can make it up to you again?” Haechan asked. His voice sounded  _ sad _ now, which was even more confusing. This wasn’t what was supposed to happen. This made simply no sense. “Please? Let me get you something.”

“Coffee is fine,” Taeil quickly said, eyes still glued to his computer screen. His eyes didn’t quite focus, and what he had once seen on there was now no longer visible, but the last thing he wanted was for Haechan to see that something about Taeil’s behaviour was off. He wasn’t sure whether he would even be able to, but he didn’t even want to give him a chance. “Thank you. And — err… — don’t worry about it. It’s all fine. You don’t need to make it up to me.”

Haechan nodded, got up, and made his way over towards the door. He leaned against the opening for a moment, turning around to look into Taeil’s direction. “Hyung?” He said again.

“Yeah?” Taeil clicked something on his screen, even though he had no idea what it was.

“I will, though.”

Taeil’s eyes involuntarily shot over to Haechan’s, who still wore a gentle smile on his features. If he looked hard enough — which, frankly, he did — he would be able to see a subtle smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth.

“You will what?”

“Make it up to you.” At that, Haechan turned around. Before he walked away, however, he looked over his shoulder back at Taeil, now that he had his attention. “Sexy hyung.”

The door fell shut behind Haechan, leaving Taeil (and the handful of colleagues who may or may not have heard that) to agonise over his thoughts.

***

“What the hell did you do?!”

Haechan shrugged. He was sitting on the strip of pavement that separated the office building from the parking lot. His arms were wrapped around his legs so that he could rest his chin on top of his knees. His eyes didn't quite focus, but he seemed calm. Much calmer than Taeil was, at least.

“It's so boring here,” Haechan whined, voice a little slurred. Taeil didn't even want to think about how the other boy felt at the moment. “There's like nothing to do.”

“It's work,” Taeil snapped. This was a useless thing to start a fight over, but he was so stressed that this seemed to be the only way in which he could handle it. “You do work. There's nothing else for you to be doing here, other than what you're meant to be doing!” Not the point, though. That definitely wasn't the point. This had nothing to do with the amount of work Haechan did or didn't do, even though he was starting to feel somewhat bitter that Haechan — for some reason (that reason being the fact that his father was the boss of the whole company, let's not deny that) — was the only intern who wasn't bothered with useless little tasks. He actually got to do the fun things, which couldn't be said for Taeil when he'd still been an intern. However. Didn't matter. Didn't matter that he was wasting it like this. There was something more important to attend to.

“But hyung,” Haechan whined again, “it's boring. And no one talks. Everyone is busy, all the time.” Taeil raised one of is eyebrows in response to Haechan's tone of voice, which had some sadness to it now. "And ever since that night at the bar even you have been behaving weird. I don't like it anymore."

And there it was: that annoying burn in the pit of his stomach that he had tried his best to ignore every time Haechan made a comment like this. There had been many over the past couple of days, and each time it happened, it became a little harder to ignore. At one point, he thought Haechan must know, and that he was continuing it just to spite him, just like everything else Haechan did seemed to be just to spite him. For some unknown reason.

But, once again, that wasn't the point. None of this, including his stupidly, nonsensical and irrelevant feelings, were the point.

“So you go out in the middle of the day, go an hour over your lunch break and you — what? — get drunk?”

Haechan looked at him, a glassy expression in his eyes. He stared at him for a few seconds, sighed, and then pressed his forehead against his knees. Taeil wasn't sure what kind of emotion he was displaying — not shame, nor embarrassment — but he did know that it wasn't good. The fact that Haechan didn't grant him a verbal response only further proved that it wasn't good.

It caused Taeil to sigh, after which he forced his shoulders to lower and knelt down beside Haechan. “You can't go back up like this. You look and smell drunk.”

“I don't care. I didn't want to anyway.”

Haechan moved his face again, which was suddenly awfully close now that Taeil was on his knees like this. It made him flinch, after which he moved back in an attempt to create some more distance again.

“What do you want, then?” He asked. His hand moved to his pocket, his car keys securely there. “I could take you home. Tell them you got sick, so you can rest it out?” After all, wasn't that the easiest way to get rid of the issue?

Haechan's eyes lit up, sadness having disappeared for a moment. “Home? Your home?”

“What? No, of course not. Your home.”

“Oh.”

Before he could watch that strange form of sadness return to his eyes, Taeil got back up on his feet. He didn't want to think about what that hopeful expression in Haechan's eyes had meant, and therefore he just shook it off. “I'll go upstairs to tell them, okay?”

“Hyung?”

Taeil almost groaned. He didn't want to have to hear that word again. He didn't like what it did to him, and how he could still sometimes hear the way it came from Haechan's lips.  _ Sexy hyung.  _ He didn't want to think about it. Didn't want to hear it again.

However, he couldn't just walk away now. Not when Haechan seemed to need him to stay. “What is it?” his voice was somewhat irritated, but only subtly.

“You asked me what I want, right?”

_ What?! _ “Yeah, I guess?”

“What if that's what I want?”

Taeil didn't know what to do anymore at this point, but what he did know is that he wanted to get out of this situation as quickly as he possibly could. This was ridicule, somehow, even now that Haechan was no longer wearing that smug grin on his features. He said nothing. He didn't want to feed into this nonsense.

“What? I mean it!” Defensiveness, suddenly. “You know I just want your attention, right? Why don't you just get that? I can't believe I have to spell that out for you!”

Taeil couldn't stand to listen to this anymore. An uncomfortable knot started to form in the pit of his stomach, and he needed out. That's probably why he stepped away from Haechan entirely, right after shaking his head and muttering a quick: “I'll be right back.”

“I mean it, hyung!” Haechan shouted after him. “I just want you to like me!”

***

When Haechan was drunk, he spoke the truth. It was almost as if he needed it as a means to get things started, after which he could more shamelessly act on whatever it was that he had said. The whole ‘sexy hyung’ thing was just the start of it; having been brought up in a drunken mood, so that he could continue it inside of the office. Then, when Taeil hadn’t acted the way Haechan wanted him to act, he’d become drunk a second time, bringing this narrative of ‘simply wanting to be liked’ to the forefront of what was happening between them.  _ If _ anything at all was happening between them, that was, because for the longest of time, Taeil hadn’t wanted to admit to that either. It was weird; would be weird. Haechan was much younger than he was, and he was annoying at worst, childish at best.

But Haechan wasn’t the type of person who gave up. He might have given up on the internship before it had even started, but the things he cared about remained things that he cared about. It was what kept him dead set on getting Taeil to like him, without having to change a single thing about himself.

It’d caused Haechan to be more careful about when he’d taunt Taeil. No longer right after saying or doing something nice, but after the third or fourth nice thing he’d say. Like that, it wouldn’t instantly bring Taeil’s mood down, which would instead linger somewhere close to subtle discomfort, rather than severe annoyance. It was easier to brush or laugh it off like that, and it didn’t make him feel the need to instantly walk off after it’d been said or done. He’d stay around, and forget about the comment — and the way it made him tingle from within — until the next one would come, and the next one would always be easier to handle than the last. Taeil would have allowed himself to be somewhat comfortable with it by then. The shock of nerves would become a dull ache, and then grow into something that made him almost smile.

Taeil had grown to like the obvious hints of success on Haechan’s features. When Taeil laughed, he looked triumphant, if not euphoric. There was something endearing about it, making Haechan’s whining not only tolerable but… enjoyable, almost. After all, he  _ was _ doing all of it to get Taeil’s attention. He wasn’t lying about it, or oblivious to the fact he was doing it, and the way he would always eye Taeil to check whether he had gotten the hint made that very clear. It was enough to make Taeil chuckle, which would then cause Haechan’s eyes to light up, and Taeil had to admit to himself that he genuinely enjoyed the look of it by now.

“I’m hungry,” he’d whine exaggeratedly, only minutes before they’d finish work. His eyes would be on Taeil, who was still focused on his computer screen. He wouldn’t look away to catch Haechan’s eyes, but he would feel them on him. Perhaps that was exactly why Taeil wouldn’t give him that much just yet; it’d become fun to discover how far Haechan would go this time around. “But I don’t know whether we have anything good at home.”

“I’m sorry about that,” he’d say.

_ Poor baby _ , he’d think.

He wasn’t at a point he’d say these things out loud, and especially not at work. Perhaps that would come one day, perhaps not. Didn’t really matter.

Haechan would then huff, or cross his arms, or do pretty much anything that would force Taeil to focus on him. “And I don’t feel like going to the supermarket either,” he’d continue. The subtle hint of agitation in his voice was — well —  _ cute _ .

“You’re going to have to, I guess,” Taeil would say again, shuffling his chair a little closer towards the wall, so he’d be hidden behind his large computer screen. He didn’t want Haechan to see that he was smiling —  _ smirking _ .

“Hyung!” Haechan would then exclaim. “Stop being so annoying!”

“Fine, fine. We can go somewhere, we can go somewhere.” And Taeil still wouldn’t look at Haechan, but he would know that there was a bright smile on his face that would probably stay there for the remainder of the evening. “What are you in the mood for?”

And Haechan would fantasise about a variety of foods, all of which would sound amazing to Taeil, and just moments later they would find themselves inside of a restaurant, where Taeil would look at him and talk to him and wait — once again — for a comment that would then, for some inexplicable reason, not make him uncomfortable, but smile instead.

***

Taeil wasn’t much of an affectionate person — not in the touchy-feely type of way, at least. He never had been, and frankly didn’t think he ever would be. However, that didn’t seem to matter to someone like Haechan, who had tried his very best to change that about him over the past couple of weeks. Just like everything else, this had been a gradual process; starting with Haechan clinging onto his shoulders at the beginning of the day — Taeil just standing there and waiting for the moment to pass — and leading to a point where Taeil, somehow, felt comfortable enough to wrap his around the younger boy’s middle. Sometimes he’d pat his back, indicating that it was time to break it off soon, but other times he would do nothing, besides just standing there and enjoying it.

However, that wasn’t the strangest thing to have happened. Even though Taeil never would have expected himself to end up in this situation, he’d genuinely started to enjoy himself. Now, whenever Haechan made a comment he couldn’t stand, he managed to read between the lines and find a type of affection to his whining. It made Taeil more willing to do things for him, as he now realised that the snarky remarks weren’t really so snarky at all, and that his demands were nothing short of playful. Of course, that had been rather annoying when they’d still been strangers, but now Taeil might even say that he enjoyed it.

It was something about being needed. Taeil enjoyed the feeling of it; of being able to provide comfort when comfort was needed, and being able to fix a frown, or otherwise bad mood, by doing something kind or silly, no matter how simple. It made him enjoy Haechan’s whining, because he was being made to feel like those silly little problems were something Taeil could actually fix. It didn’t even seem to matter that it never involved anything relevant, and that in most instances Haechan would be better off being told he should simply get over himself, because Taeil appreciated that Haechan somehow understood this about him. As though he knew that Taeil was nurturing, and wanted to provide something substantial — whatever it may be.

No matter how unconventional, they’d ensured that this — this dynamic between them — made sense somehow. Taeil felt good having taken on a leading, almost guiding role, and Haechan felt good receiving whatever it was that he wanted to receive.

It was exactly the reason that Taeil didn’t pull away anymore, and that he let Haechan cling onto him and instigate things Taeil never would have imagined himself agreeing to. He felt good like this; being in control of someone else’s happiness. It made sense.

No matter how weird, and no matter how foreign it still was to feel Haechan’s lips against his own, while he was sitting in Taeil’s lap on top of the bed. It was something that had happened anyway, and continued to happen. In fact, it was something that went a little further every time they were together, especially in private.

Like that, Taeil could find it within himself not to be as reserved as he was in public. He let Haechan grind his hips into his, and he allowed his hand to snake up to the back of Haechan’s neck, grabbing a hold of his hair as the other grabbed an eager hold of his hip. He allowed himself to revel in the way Haechan would moan into his mouth, making him twice as frantic (and probably twice as desperate). In response, Taeil grinned — to himself, as well as to Haechan — and slipped his fingers underneath the fabric of Haechan’s shirt.

Desperately, they struggled themselves out of their clothing until they were completely naked.

They hadn’t gotten this far before, but ever since the night had begun, Taeil had been aware that this was going to happen. He’d felt it in everything: from the way Haechan had hinted to having wanted to be taken out (“I really want to try out this new noodle bar, but I don’t think I have anyone to go with.” In response to which, of course, Taeil had rolled his eyes and laughed, before saying: “Come on, then. Let’s go), to the way Haechan had looked at him with a particular hunger in his eyes. That’d been the reason Taeil had invited him back home (“Home? Your home?” “What? Yes, of course! My home.”), and the reason they were now naked.

Taeil was on top of Haechan, in between his legs as he kissed him. He hadn’t instigated anything more, somewhat nervous about where to go. Instead, he took his time exploring Haechan’s mouth, while his hands busied themselves with discovering his body. When Taeil’s hand finally made its way between Haechan’s legs, over his cock, until it threatened to slip a little further down, Haechan took a desperate hold of Taeil’s legs in order to pull it away again.

He used that desperation as strength, after which he rapidly flipped them over. On his back, Taeil’s heart began beating even faster than it already had done, after which his eyes went wide with shock.

“What...?” Taeil muttered the word just seconds too late; their roles had already reversed.

“Hyung, don’t worry.  _ You’ll _ like this, I’m sure.”

Would he?  _ Would _ he?!

“I thought…” But Haechan’s hand was already between Taeil’s legs, and it’d slipped down much further than Taeil’s hand had managed. For some reason, nothing within him was doing  _ anything _ to stop it.

“Hm,” Haechan hummed. “You enjoy giving me things. You’ll see that this isn’t any different.”

Taeil looked into Haechan’s eyes, noting the joy in there. No matter how badly Taeil didn’t want to admit to it, he felt his stomach flip. Something about it — about being needed — almost ( _ almost) _ made this okay. Besides, Haechan’s eyes were big, and Taeil could clearly see that this was because of something Taeil had caused. He was smiling down at Taeil with encouragement in his eyes, as if to further emphasise that this did indeed make sense. After all, Haechan still seemed happy receiving what he wanted to receive. And Taeil, although he felt stripped of the leading, almost guiding role he’d still had before, still did nothing to stop it, almost as though he was proving that providing something substantial — no matter what it was, apparently — was more important to him than anything else was.

Was it, though?  _ Was _ it, though?

“Hyuuuung…” Haechan whined. Annoyingly, this had become Taeil’s weakness. “Will you let me?”

He was quiet for a moment, confused with what was happening, until he eventually let out a deep breath.

_ “I guess....”  _ he thought, but... “Yeah…” he muttered.

Saying no to Haechan was — apparently — not just hard, but also impossible. 


End file.
